After my mother died, I longed for, and hunted to no avail, in search of something that she may have written that could give her children a miniscule glimpse of her inner most thoughts. I would have accepted this from any chapter in her life. Confirmed instead, is that - she enjoyed reading far above writing. Walls of books were to be divided among family members or given away, but just like she rarely ever mailed a card to us, (and when she did, she only signed it,) Mom seemed to keep no written record of her thoughts. No Bible study writings, no journal. Nothing.
I gave little thought to the written word for many years of my life. Actually that's not completely accurate. When I was younger, I kept a poetry journal - but it was in a purse that was stolen, and when that happened, it seemed to momentarily rob me of my creative writing ability. A few years later, I wrote again, this time songs. A relationship with an unnamed person in a band peaked my writing interest again. Sadly for me, one day he walked off with a spiral pad of paper (with lyrics tucked inside,) to band practice. He chose to amuse his fellow band mates when he came across my songs in what should have been my private notebook. He let me know this the next time we saw each other. Ego shattered, I dropped my pen, only using it for work purposes, or an occasional card in the mail - with not much more than a signature. I became like my mother.
I didn't realize what had happened immediately. Yes, when I thought back about those experiences, my bruises felt fresh, but I never gave a thought to the importance of writing my husband anything more than a quick grocery list, or signing cards for each of our children. I was known to scribble underline notations on sentiments that I liked, or draw I Love You signs - with an eye, heart, and sheep on cards given to my children. All through the childhood of our older 2, I do not believe that I wrote more than a few sentences on any occasion. With my mom alive, I had not yet thought deep enough about the power of the written word.
Mom's leaving us made my desire to get to know more about her increase. I longed to have something other than "stuff" to cling to as a reminder of who she was. At some point, I have no idea when, but it occurred to me that I too - would have nothing profound to leave my children if I didn't pick up a pen and write. Times change - the pen has became a keyboard. Alas... the blog began. I've left it many times - as life and other things got in the way. I've written on many topics that no one will ever care about, but hopefully, prayerfully, it will one day help my children "know" me better.
This morning, as I continued in the task of cleaning out my mega monster closet, (had I mentioned that yet?) I ran across a note on the back of a card sent to me by my Gramma over 25 years ago. One day she will be a blog focus, because she was absolutely an integral part of my life, but for today, I will just speak about her written word. It was the only note I believe that I ever received in the mail from her. It wasn't long, but she wrote beautifully - not only was her handwriting uniquely exquisite, (she used a fountain pen,) but she spoke in her note, with ease - just sharing about a few things going on in her life at that moment. With maybe 10 sentences on the back of a card, reading it again today, I learned more about my Gramma. Today I can say that I know who she was better--- not profoundly, but it was heartwarming to feel a connection to her once again. I am so very thankful for the time that Gramma took to share her words with me 25+ years later. It's a encouraging reminder to keep picking up my pen. It's true. The written word is powerful.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
It's Official... Sort of...
Alexis' 8th Grade Year is mapped out, and we are almost set to go. Her official First Day of School will begin on 8/22, which is the same day that Amanda starts her fall semester of college.
I expect it will be a crazy busy year, but prayerfully it should be a good one. I am thrilled that we decided together to use Sonlight Core 200 as the main focus of Alexis' academic year.
With much pondering and prayer, her year will look like this:
Bible - Sonlight Core 200
History - Sonlight Core 200
Weekly Current Events - God's World - Trek, On-line News, & Newspaper
Language Arts - Literature - Sonlight 200 & Homeschool Class
L/A - Writing - IEW through Homeschool Class
L/A - Spelling - Apples Daily Spelling Drills #2
L/A - Vocabulary - Sadlier Oxford & Sonlight Core 200
L/A - Reading Comp. - The History of Medicine
Math - PreAlgebra - Abeka and/or Chalk Dust (long story...)
Science - Apologia Exploring Creation with General Science
Art - Abeka Watercolor - Co-op Class - 1/2 credit
Public Speaking/Debate - Homeschool Class - 1/2 credit
Latin - Latin for Children, (we started this last year, but did not have success. We will try again, and may go with a virtual class if it doesn't work)
It is a comfort to have this puzzle mostly figured out. (Reminding myself here to stay flexible to the Lord's prompting.) My sweet girl's "Workboxes" are almost completely set up, minus a few needed school supplies. Now I must find space somewhere in my home for the miscellaneous books that we will not be using... I wonder if anyone around here would be observant enough to notice if I hung them from the ceiling???
I expect it will be a crazy busy year, but prayerfully it should be a good one. I am thrilled that we decided together to use Sonlight Core 200 as the main focus of Alexis' academic year.
With much pondering and prayer, her year will look like this:
Bible - Sonlight Core 200
History - Sonlight Core 200
Weekly Current Events - God's World - Trek, On-line News, & Newspaper
Language Arts - Literature - Sonlight 200 & Homeschool Class
L/A - Writing - IEW through Homeschool Class
L/A - Spelling - Apples Daily Spelling Drills #2
L/A - Vocabulary - Sadlier Oxford & Sonlight Core 200
L/A - Reading Comp. - The History of Medicine
Math - PreAlgebra - Abeka and/or Chalk Dust (long story...)
Science - Apologia Exploring Creation with General Science
Art - Abeka Watercolor - Co-op Class - 1/2 credit
Public Speaking/Debate - Homeschool Class - 1/2 credit
Latin - Latin for Children, (we started this last year, but did not have success. We will try again, and may go with a virtual class if it doesn't work)
It is a comfort to have this puzzle mostly figured out. (Reminding myself here to stay flexible to the Lord's prompting.) My sweet girl's "Workboxes" are almost completely set up, minus a few needed school supplies. Now I must find space somewhere in my home for the miscellaneous books that we will not be using... I wonder if anyone around here would be observant enough to notice if I hung them from the ceiling???
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wilderness
Admittedly, it's been painfully difficult to wrap my mind around the thought of my son David making the decision to take this prospective job. I have many valid reasons to be concerned. His health for one...
Truthfully, I didn't really want to go to church yesterday. As we were getting ready in the morning, my husband was complaining way more than usual about how difficult it is to get everybody up and out the door on time, (mainly me and our 2 adult children,) and I was in no mood to hear it. It was early morning, and I felt worn out already. I have been stressing about David's job possibility, and awoke in the middle of the night feeling completely uneasy over the situation. I spent hours praying and wrestling with the Lord over it.
Immediately after we sat down in the pew I noticed how empty this summer service was going to be and began feeling sorry for myself that we haven't yet, and may not, take a summer vacation. For the 2nd week in a row, our pastor and his family weren't there. I didn't want to be there either. At. All.
As I began to listen to the Bible verses being read on the topic that would be preached on, I sighed in my mind, wondering if the service would go into overtime. My mind was wanting to leave the building - even if my body couldn't. Our assistant pastor started his intro after the scripture reading by speaking about a camping journey that he and a friend had gone on many years ago. Knowing that there would be some similarities with this and David's job, my mind pulled back, and my ears began to open, as well as my heart. For the next 30-40 minutes I listened to God tell me why David should take this job. Ouch! I wanted to resist, but His rationale was so compelling, I cannot argue. He let me know that although He appreciates my concerns for my son, He most certainly knows what's best for him, and it's time for David to take a trip into the wilderness. He confirmed that His plans for David's time spent in the wilderness will be of benefit to him for the rest of his life. He made clear that David will grow and mature in his faith while performing his job, as he will have good reason to rely on Jesus while he is in the wilderness - literally, and figuratively.
My brain understands His will, my heart hurts to the point of tears though. I want so badly to rest in the Lord's decision. I wish I could say that my faith is so solid that I am at peace with His plans. However, if David chooses to accept this position, I will become a prayer warrior for his journey through the wilderness. I may be hesitant to accept this change, but I'm determined to remain faithful to my son, and to His Son - as I know that He too, went through the wilderness.
Truthfully, I didn't really want to go to church yesterday. As we were getting ready in the morning, my husband was complaining way more than usual about how difficult it is to get everybody up and out the door on time, (mainly me and our 2 adult children,) and I was in no mood to hear it. It was early morning, and I felt worn out already. I have been stressing about David's job possibility, and awoke in the middle of the night feeling completely uneasy over the situation. I spent hours praying and wrestling with the Lord over it.
Immediately after we sat down in the pew I noticed how empty this summer service was going to be and began feeling sorry for myself that we haven't yet, and may not, take a summer vacation. For the 2nd week in a row, our pastor and his family weren't there. I didn't want to be there either. At. All.
As I began to listen to the Bible verses being read on the topic that would be preached on, I sighed in my mind, wondering if the service would go into overtime. My mind was wanting to leave the building - even if my body couldn't. Our assistant pastor started his intro after the scripture reading by speaking about a camping journey that he and a friend had gone on many years ago. Knowing that there would be some similarities with this and David's job, my mind pulled back, and my ears began to open, as well as my heart. For the next 30-40 minutes I listened to God tell me why David should take this job. Ouch! I wanted to resist, but His rationale was so compelling, I cannot argue. He let me know that although He appreciates my concerns for my son, He most certainly knows what's best for him, and it's time for David to take a trip into the wilderness. He confirmed that His plans for David's time spent in the wilderness will be of benefit to him for the rest of his life. He made clear that David will grow and mature in his faith while performing his job, as he will have good reason to rely on Jesus while he is in the wilderness - literally, and figuratively.
My brain understands His will, my heart hurts to the point of tears though. I want so badly to rest in the Lord's decision. I wish I could say that my faith is so solid that I am at peace with His plans. However, if David chooses to accept this position, I will become a prayer warrior for his journey through the wilderness. I may be hesitant to accept this change, but I'm determined to remain faithful to my son, and to His Son - as I know that He too, went through the wilderness.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Changes a Coming...
Jeremiah 29:1 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Amanda will soon finish her summer college classes. New courses to think about... A career to contemplate. Will a major be declared this year? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
David will soon be making a huge decision about a job. A position that will be a 24/7 life changing experience for him. If he takes this job that has been offered to him, David will be stretched in ways as never before. Is this the right career choice for him? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
Alexis will soon begin her final year of middle school. In less than a month, she will take on the biggest work load yet - including 3 high school level courses. Is she prepared for this challenge? Will she be ready for the start of the final pre-college hurdles at the conclusion of this year? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
My prayer is that His plans will be their plans. That they will trust and follow, knowing without a doubt, the Lord determines all answers to every mystery in each of their lives - with an incredible and desirable promise. I pray that David, Amanda, and Alexis WILL rest in this.
Amanda will soon finish her summer college classes. New courses to think about... A career to contemplate. Will a major be declared this year? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
David will soon be making a huge decision about a job. A position that will be a 24/7 life changing experience for him. If he takes this job that has been offered to him, David will be stretched in ways as never before. Is this the right career choice for him? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
Alexis will soon begin her final year of middle school. In less than a month, she will take on the biggest work load yet - including 3 high school level courses. Is she prepared for this challenge? Will she be ready for the start of the final pre-college hurdles at the conclusion of this year? The Lord knows the answer. I CAN rest in this.
My prayer is that His plans will be their plans. That they will trust and follow, knowing without a doubt, the Lord determines all answers to every mystery in each of their lives - with an incredible and desirable promise. I pray that David, Amanda, and Alexis WILL rest in this.
 |
| He has amazing plans for these lovable clowns! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)