The Quilt of Life

Home From College with Some New Habits 

What is that commercial?  Life comes at you fast...  Getting a credit card for this reason is debatable, but I can truly attest to the fact that life comes at you fast - and the years fly! 

 
As time was approaching for David to leave to go off to college, it was terribly hard on me.  I kept reflecting on my son’s life remembering many of the cute little habits or things he did as a child.  He had a passion for sports and when he was between 7 and 8 years old, every night he would line up all his stuffed toys along the top of his bed - after bedtime, and depending on the season, he would play football or baseball games with these toys.  Each animal actually had a position and he would have them make plays by throwing a plastic ball in the air and swinging the toys to hit, punt, or catch it.  Then he would move the toys to their new positions and wirte down all the statistics of the game - play by play.  I thought it was cute and I was even impressed with his sweet little strategic mind, but when he would stretch his bedtime by a couple of hours we would end up fussing at him over it.  As a young parent, I had no appreciation for the fact that he was using his brain in a productive way.  If I had it to live over again, I might just close my eyes and pretend that I didn't know he was still up.  The years are so fleeting!  When he was preschool age, it felt like I would have him around f.o.re.v.e.r.  Before I knew it, he was driving, working, and saving money for college.  My mind knew David would be leaving, but my heart was not prepared for the empty chair at the dinner table. 

Our son came home from college for Christmas break.  I can not express how ecstatic we felt to know that he would be here for 3 1/2 weeks.  He had been home for a few days at Thanksgiving, but that felt like a whirl-wind trip.  I was truly looking forward to having him spend time at home for a good long visit.

When the anticipated day finally arrived… he walked in the door, gave us all hugs and proceeded to head to the laundry room with close to 10 loads (counting bed linens) of laundry.  The good news is, he washed it all himself.  The bad news is he tied up our washer and dryer for about 2 solid days and somehow used up an entire bottle of detergent (that is supposed to wash 25 loads.) 

It was so good to have David fill that empty seat at the dinner table on his first night back as we ate a home cooked meal altogether.  He was extremely grateful to have it, and truly appreciated every bite.  He didn’t eat a lot, which surprised us, until we found out later that he has some new eating habits.  Did I mention that our master bedroom is right off the kitchen?  That is a great place to have your room when your children are young, but when they get bigger and can feed themselves, watch out if you are a light sleeper.  Let me explain… at 11:00 PM when our dear son was returning to the kitchen to feed himself, dh and I woke up and smiled at each other happy to hear the sounds that confirmed that our son was home.  We probably were asleep for less than a 1/2 hour at that time.  At 1:00 AM when he returned to the kitchen for a drink of water, we woke up and realized that we were going to have to get used to these new late night noises.  However, at 2:30 AM when David decided that he needed to graze through the kitchen again!   dh and I wondered if we were going to get any solid sleep until he returned to college!!!

The following day we found out about another new habit we weren’t aware of…  chatting, texting, IM’ing – all of it – and a lot of it.  Whatever happened to voice communication???  I think our kids have stepped over a threshold  that dh and I are either unable or unwilling to go over.  It’s called the generation gap!     It wasn’t too bad at first, but coincidently a few days after David arrived we connected a wireless internet system because my brother had just given me his old laptop.    I suppose it may have been naive of me to not understand the cause and effect of this, but I should have.  It’s called *have computer will travel*  And that is exactly what our dear son did – right to his room – and with his laptop and cell phone.  There he stayed for several nights (only coming out for food) attached to his mobile communication devices.  Thankfully after several days he backed off of this new habit – somewhat – and we got to see his handsome face again.

While David had secluded himself in his "cave," so that he could converse to his new college friends in the various forms of written exchanges without family disruption, I was pleased and yet just a tad bit aggravated to see his next new habit.  He has become much neater since living in a dorm.  So... with that nice new habit, he decided to de-clutter his bedroom.  I was pleased with this, because it is a terrific feeling when a parent can see that their child who had a tendency to be more than a little sloppy has finally arrived at the stage of taking care of their own territory.  I was a bit aggravated all at the same time, because he gave lots of his clutter to his baby sister who doesn't say no well.  Did I mention that she can be a little pack rat?  She has no room in her bedroom to take in extra items!  By the way...  This was just a few short days before Christmas.  Company was coming, gifts were inevitable - and I knew it would be my responsibility to make them fit in her room in such a way that it would seem spacious.  This was not a realistic feat in this - an already over stuffed room.  David did drop some of his clutter of at a donation place, really for the sake of space, I wouldn't have minded if he had been a little less "generous" to his sister.  

Christmas was great.  We have always started our day with just our small family before our extended family arrives for a big lunch/dinner and gift exchange.  It felt good to have our family of 5 altogether in the morning opening up presents and joking and teasing with each other.  As I watched my children unwrap their gifts, it occurred to me that there may not be that many more Christmas’ left before the dynamics of this family changes.  I am not saying that would be bad in any way – just different.  I can already tell you – I will miss our tradition of Christmas morning.  I have big dreams that my future daughter-in-law and sons-in-law will want to spend every Christmas with us.  I know that’s not realistic and actually selfish though.  Sigh…  For now I will stay thankful and aware of the gift of each of these years. 






The day came when we got used to most of David’s nightly noises.  About that same time, I watched my baby boy pack his belongings into his car in a very organized and neat manner.  I knew this meant that he was going to return to the place where parents aren't.  The place where children have to make their own decisions about time management, studying, work schedules, morals, and more.  He had already managed this for 1/2 of a school year - and did a great job.  Wow!  Lots of new habits!  Somewhere between the hugs goodbye and the tears streaming down my face, I took a moment to reflect on the fact that the Lord has allowed me to become the mother of a boy changing into a fine young man.  Sigh...  I miss the kitchen noises.  It's too quiet around here...