My Father-in-Law

A Man Who Is Commendable Before The Lord 

One of the biggest blessings our family of 5 has is our extended family.  At this time, my thoughts are especially reflecting on my father-in-law.  You see, he is in the final stages of Alzheimer’s disease.  Only the Lord knows for sure, but these upcoming holidays may be the last that he is able to spend in our home.  That is extremely painful to say.  So, it is with a heavy heart that I write a few of my thoughts about how blessed we all are to have him a part of our lives. 

After first meeting my Father-In-Law, I walked away with the impression that he is a man with quiet strength.  He did not speak much, but had a quick wit, and came across as a true gentleman who is extremely devoted to the Lord, my mother-in-law, and his two sons.

 

As time passed, I could plainly see that he is a man who "walks the walk" of his Christian faith.  With so many outstanding qualities, there is much good that can be said about him.  If ever there was a real life hero, he is that to me.  I can not emphasize enough what a gift he has been to us all. 

As a husband, he loves, honors, and cherishes his wife.  They stood united always.  If he disagreed with her in anything, it must have been done it in private – he never disagreed with her in front of us – including (to my knowledge) my husband when growing up.  His love for her was very evident.  They were and still are, best friends.

He led his sons by example to show them how Christ wants us to live. He has given them sound advice, and has been a witness to them on how a man should love his wife.  Whatever situation one of them was in, he was quick to say, "What can I do to help?"  From the time David and I started our family, his parents were always there to celebrate holidays and birthdays with us.  In addition, whenever we needed them, they would travel almost 5 hours to help us out.  When at our home, my father-in-law would just look around and see what needed to be done – then do it.  Hedges trimmed, trees cut back, repairs to the house – he was a tremendous help and support to us. 

I am writing this before Thanksgiving because it is a holiday in which we reflect on what we are thankful for.  The Lord has blessed me with a my father-in-law's son, a wonderful husband and his 3 beautiful grand-children.  I am so thankful that He chose them all to be a part of my life.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have envisioned a life so rich and full as the one I am living.  I can only give the credit for this to my Savior.

What has touched my heart the most about my father in law is that he is a remarkable Granddaddy.  He play wrestled with our son when he was little, played checkers with our middle daughter, and taught all 3 of our children how to play pool on a child sized pool table.  How many grandfathers out there would let their grandchildren clip Legos together in their hair until his head was covered?  He did.  When they were babies he held them when they were sleeping, and strapped them carefully in their car seats to take them to the grocery store.  When they were older, he spoon fed them their dinner when they got fussy, and took them fishing in our back yard.   My children have been given a priceless gift from their grandfather – the gift of his time and loving attention.
           
He was active in his Baptist church as a deacon, and volunteered for numerous charitable events along the way.  All the while he kept a good balance so that he could be attentive to his family’s needs. 

He was a good son and son-in-law.  When I met my husband his parents were in the beginning stages of caring for their parents.   Without reservation or complaint, my father-in-law did everything he could to meet the needs of their parents.  This included 7+ hour trips to North Carolina – sometimes close to 20 per year.  He kept up their finances, combed their hair, trimmed their nails, worked on their houses, and did anything else for them that needed to be done.

There are 2 things I never heard come out of his mouth, a complaint or an unkind word.

 

As I read back over some of what I wrote, I feel a sting of pain in my heart because the reality of Alzheimer’s disease makes it so he physically and mentally can no longer be who he loved to be.  This disease prevents him from continuing to do what he did best, serve others.  For the remainder of his time on earth , my father-in-law’s life will be much different than the one he led up to a few short years ago. I take great comfort in the knowledge that this does not apply spiritually; his soul will forever be the same dignified Christian man.  But for right now, it has changed the dynamics of relationships within the family.  Once this strong vibrant man helped us all, now we help him.  My husband helps with repairs around his house and much more.  He and our older children work in his yard.  My youngest daughter buckles him carefully in the car so we can take him on errands.   My mother-in-law combs his hair, trims his nails, and continues to love him and be his best friend.

 

The biggest blessing I can say that I am thankful for this Thanksgiving season is that my father-in-law’s legacy ~ the gift of giving has been passed on.  Truly that is something to be thankful for.  

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for the opportunity to know this precious son of yours, my father-in-law.  Through the love that he has shown his family, we are able to see a glimpse of how much Your Son loves us.  Through his kindness, we are able to comprehend a glimmer of how much Your Son cares for us.  Through his quiet strength we can better understand how to be more like Your Son.  I thank you Lord for allowing us to be a part of his life as his mind deteriorates from this disease.  Please help us all to be a comfort to him, and help us to honor You by honoring him until you call him home.  In Jesus Name, Amen.